One night….

Personal | Posted by Danielle
May 25 2013

It was raining when she got home from work.  The storm had hit quickly and with little warning. Of course she would drop her keys as she was trying to get into the house and by the time she was inside, she was soaked. She just sighed and peeled off the wet clothes.  She had resigned herself to having a bad day and being soaked was just the icing on the cake.

She had been so lost in her own thoughts that she didn’t even notice the man sitting on her couch.  She just moved past him in the darkness and went to her bedroom, half naked. She also didn’t notice when he was standing behind her in the bedroom.  She had just slipped into an oversized t-shirt and turned around when she saw him.  She was so shocked that she couldn’t scream.  She just stood there, staring at him.  When he took a step toward her, she stepped back and found her voice.  The scream she let out was loud enough that she was sure her neighbors heard her.

The man was on her in a flash, hand over her mouth, trying to stop her.  She couldn’t hear a word he said though.  All she could hear was her own blood rushing through her ears.  Once she realized that he was not letting her go and she couldn’t fight him she finally stopped screaming.  It was only then that she could hear what he was saying.

“Bethany, calm down.”

She knew the voice but could not place it.  The panic was making her brain work in funny ways.  She could remember everything she had done at work that day but anything beyond that was just not happening for her.  She struggled against him again, just trying to turn around, to see who was holding her.  In the struggle he had gotten her turned around and she had no idea who was behind her.

“I will let you go if you just stop screaming.”

She relaxed a little, to show him she would not fight him anymore.  The hands on her released her and she turned around.  In front of her stood a ghost.  It had to be, because he was supposed to be dead. She took a step back from him, trying to make sense of it all.  Her mind was still not working the way it was supposed to be.

“You are supposed to be dead.  I was at your funeral!”

Her voice was raising again, but this time it was out of anger.

“Beth, I had to let you think I died.  They would never have believed it if I wasn’t.  You are not a very good actress.”

She just stood there, staring at him.  She could hear him, she even understood what he was saying but, she was having a hard time believing what she was seeing.  Before she knew what she was doing, her arms were wrapping around him, trying to prove to her own mind that he was really there in front of her.  When her brain finally allowed her to believe he was there, she started to cry.  It wasn’t the quiet tears she had let out during his funeral.  No, these were the sobs she had held back for months, because she had to be strong.

She held tighter when his arms wrapped around her, her whole body shaking as she cried.  It felt like the stood there forever as she cried and he held her.  When her cries got quieter, his arms let her go, a hand reaching to tilt her face up to look at his.

“These last few months have been the hardest of my life.  I have thought about you every day, hoping that you were ok.  You have no idea how many times I just wanted to pick up the phone, to call you.  I had no idea if you were dealing with this, or if you had shut down again.”

Her eyes searched his face, looking for the truth in this expression.  She didn’t know if she could believe him now.  He had lied to her, had broken her heart with his death.

“I just don’t understand why you had to put me through all of this.  Why did you have to break my heart?  I was destroyed by your death.  I barely held it together.  All these months, they have been the hardest of my life.”

She felt him sigh and step back from her, the hand falling away from her chin. As he stepped back she realized that the room was dark.  The final lights of the day had disappeared and they were standing a dark room.  She reached for the nearest light, flipping it on.  He was still there, standing in front of her.  She had half expected him to disappear when the light flooded the room.

She looked at him, really looked at him.  His dark hair was still a mess, and she had to smile a bit.  He could never brush it.  It was just not part of his thought process.  His eyes were the deep blue she remembered.  They always made her think of the ocean, so calm and deep.  Everything about him was the same.  His muscular arms, the same arms that always held her.  Nothing had changed from the last time she had seen him alive, save for he looked very tired now.

She suddenly felt very self-conscience and look around for a pair of shorts or her robe.  She was standing there in nothing but a t-shirt and panties.  She knew he had seen her hundreds of times just like that but this felt different.  It was when she looked down that she realized the shirt she had put on had been one of his.  She looked up quickly and saw in his eyes that he knew it was his as well.  She blushed a bit.

“Beth, I don’t want to talk about all of that right now.  What I want to do is just hold you, talk to you, and be with you.  I have missed the way you feel in my arms, the way you fit perfectly against me when we sleep.”

With those words, her own walls came tumbling down and she was wrapping herself around him.  Her face look up at his, urging him to kiss her.  When their lips did meet, her world felt like it stopped right here, in that moment.  She forgot about the months of being without him.  She just knew that she was with him again.  She forgot how she had cried for days and didn’t sleep.  She only knew that moment, that perfect moment.

Her arms wrapped around he picked her up.  They had done this many times before, her legs wrapping around him as he moved her to the bed.  They had been in that exact position more times then she could count.  But this time it felt different to her.  This time there was a sense of urgency in him that she had never felt before.  There was something different in the way he touched her, the way he kissed her.  She couldn’t figure it out.

She had no idea how she had ended up naked beneath him.  She remembered him carrying her but the rest had been a blur of hands and lips.  The clothing had disappeared before she even knew it.  The love making had been different.  It was like he was trying to imprint himself on her brain.  She felt in him a need to make it perfect.  He did everything she had always loved and more.  She didn’t even know how it had all started and only knew when it was over.

She laid there with him, their bodies perfectly formed to each other.  He had been right, they had fit perfectly together when they slept.  She could feel his heartbeat against her back, his breath on her neck.  She knew he wasn’t asleep, because she knew his breathing patterns when he did sleep.  She reached up to touch the arm wrapped around her and it tightened, pull her even closer to him.

He whispered against the back of her neck, “I love you Bethany.  I always have and I always will.”

She sighed softly, pulling his hand to her lips, kissing his fingertips one by one, “I love you too.  I lost a piece of my heart when I thought you had died.  There is no one for me but you.”

She pressed to him more and closed her eyes.  She didn’t know why he had left her the way he did but she didn’t care.  She had him back and that is all that matters.  She drifted off knowing he was there with her and for once she felt safe again.  She didn’t feel alone.

It was hours later that she woke up with a start and realized she was alone in bed. She rolled over, hands reaching the spot he had been in.  There was no trace of him there.  The bed was cold and looked untouched.  She panicked and jumped out of bed, rushing through her house.  The front door was wide open, like it had been when she went to change the night before.  The sun was just coming up and she could see the pink in the sky as she looked out the door.

She turned and realized the house was totally empty expect for her.  She didn’t know what to think, what to do.  She moved to sit on the couch beside her, to keep from falling.  As she sat she felt a poke in her leg.  She shifted and found on the couch one single lily with a note.  Her hands shook as she tried to open the note and she sobbed softly when she saw what it said.

“Beth, I had one last wish.  I got to spend one perfect night with you and help ease the pain you were feeling.”

She just sat there crying, finally letting it go.  He was gone and she was given the chance to say good bye.  He had left her so suddenly that she had never been given the chance. She just laid down on the couch, holding onto the flower tightly and watched the colors in the sky change as she cried.